I wish I could say, “Beam me up Scotty,” and be rid of this coronavirus laden planet! I’m tired of it. I’m sure you are tired of it too. As I re-read my last blog filled with positive things to do, I thought, enough. Just enough. There really are only four critical things we need to be doing for ourselves and for our loved ones right now: eating well, exercising, getting plenty of sleep and not going bonkers!
Thank heavens for Kristen! And for Zach and the other coaches! The Zoom classes are wonderful. They give all of the RSB fighters a chance to exercise, to see each other, to socialize briefly and to maintain some sense of normalcy. Normalcy cannot be overrated right now. And if you haven’t tried them, please do. Even if you feel initially intimidated by the technology, everyone will help you through it.
I think my hubby was concerned about the “eating well” prospects this morning, or the lack of “eating well” perhaps. Otherwise known as-don’t go grocery shopping on an empty stomach. He is the one in our household who has been relegated to putting on his mask and facing the world for groceries or prescriptions. So off he went to Publix with his list in hand. An hour later, after no less than three calls home (one was me calling to see if he got lost since the store is merely three miles from our house) he returned with 36 bags of groceries! Yet he still managed to forget my Chex Mix. I think he contracted empty-shelf-syndrome. Because some items were out, he figured he’d load up on everything else. The fact we have never in our lives needed three simultaneous bags of cornmeal didn’t matter. His reasoning was they were out of dried white beans. I’m still scratching my head over that one.
The “not going bonkers” item has been a struggle for me though. We have cleaned, vacuumed, cooked, read books (I’ve finished over 12 now), worked on jigsaw puzzles, gardened, colored, baked, watched old and new movies, talked to family and friends, built birdhouses (we have a family of finches living in one of our birdhouses). I have run out of clever things to do. Actually, even the mundane things are growing old. I’m tired of waking up and realizing there is NOTHING to do today. I’m tired of trying to find something to do every day. I’m tired of planning every meal, cooking every meal, cleaning up after every meal (Lew and I do all of the above together at least). I’ve sworn that when this quarantine ends, we will eat out all three meals a day for 30 days straight. Not a dish will be used at home. But the point is, I’m just tired of all of it. And I’m pretty sure I am not the only one who feels this way. Add in I worry about Dad all the time. This is an excruciating time to be a caregiver. I say a prayer every day that he is not in a facility where I can not visit him. We have some RSB members who are in this situation, and my heart goes out to them and their families. I’m thankful every day Dad has remained healthy. But the constant bad news is weighing on him. So, we limit the news we watch. But I’ve decided I need a different mindset, an altered focus.
Maybe we do not need to have an activity for every day. Maybe time for reflection, mindfulness, silence is a worthy goal. There is a wonderful book authored by a friend of Dad’s, Terry Hersey. It is called The Power of Pause. In this book the author talks about becoming more by doing less. One of his quotes, which I have always liked is, “I pause to be surprised, to let the cares of the day be carried away, and to let my soul catch up with my body.” Perhaps this is time we have been given to do less, and pause more. Do I really HAVE to accomplish something today? Do I HAVE to make sure Dad does something every single day? Do I HAVE to rush around when time is not my enemy right now? Do I HAVE to feel guilty just because I’m sitting and watching the mother finch bring her babies disgusting looking insects?
Give yourself permission to do nothing once in a while. Now I have to rush off to listen to the rain.
The Power of Pause by Terry Hersey
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